I read a wonderful book by Bob Kllemen called God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. It is a must-read, in my opinion, when one wants to walk through grief in God’s way. In this book, Kellemen discusses how facing suffering often presents a choice between following the world’s understanding of grief or embracing a biblical perspective.
The world offers models like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—that describe common emotional responses. However, these models fall short of addressing the deeper spiritual implications of suffering and can sometimes lead to a disconnection from God. In contrast, a biblical approach, Kellemen termed “Biblical Sufferology,” emphasizes a journey that intertwines grieving with hope, offering eight scriptural stages that guide individuals from hurt to healing.
The biblical model provides a framework that fosters genuine engagement with one’s emotions while also inviting God into the process. It encourages honesty with oneself and God (candor and complaint), seeking divine help (crying out), and receiving comfort. As individuals navigate through stages like waiting with faith, groaning with hope, and ultimately worshiping, they discover that healing is possible and that growth can emerge from grief. This relational approach acknowledges the messiness of life and the grieving process, reassuring believers that hope is attainable through God’s presence, His Word, and the support of a faith community.
Kellemen guides us to stay committed to this healing journey, recognizing that faith makes hope and growth possible. We must move forward in trusting God, from emotional numbness to expressing hope, from despair to understanding grace, and from isolation to engaging in love through worship and service. God provides all you need for life and godliness through His Word, the Holy Spirit, and the support of your faith community.
Sarah’s Journey Through Grief with a Biblical Counselor
The Weight of Loss
Amid the quiet of her home, Sarah sat on her couch, cradling a soft, worn blanket her husband used to wrap around himself in the evenings. It had been months since he passed, but the waves of grief still caught her off guard, crashing over her with a force that left her gasping for air.
Seeking Relief in Psychology
Her friends, who had lost loved ones before, had encouraged her to see a psychologist, saying it would help her “cope” and find closure. She had even gone for a few sessions. They talked about the stages of grief, about letting go, and about finding a “new normal.” But her heart felt heavy and hollow while she nodded and tried to follow the advice. No amount of rational explanations or emotional exercises filled the deep void inside her.
A Turn Toward Biblical Counseling
Then, one Sunday morning, after listening to a sermon on God’s comfort in suffering, Sarah reached out to her church biblical counselor. That next Tuesday, she walked into his office, the weight of her husband’s death still pressing on her shoulders. She began to pour out her heart, expressing her grief and anger at God for allowing this to happen.
The counselor didn’t flinch or try to redirect her anger. Instead, he opened his Bible and gently read to her from Psalm 62:8, “Pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” For the first time, someone didn’t tell her to “move on” or “find closure.” Instead, he showed her that bringing her deepest pain before God was okay. Her tears weren’t signs of weakness but of love – and love was a gift from God.
A New Perspective on Grief
Over the next weeks, their sessions shifted from discussing stages of grief to exploring the deep truths of Scripture. The counselor reminded Sarah of 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, explaining that God offers comfort in our suffering and calls us to comfort others with the same hope He gives us. In every tear, in every question, God was near. Her pain wasn’t meaningless, nor was it something to “get over.” Instead, it was a sacred place where God met her, offering healing beyond human understanding.
The Difference Between Coping and Hope
The psychologist had given her tools to manage her emotions, but this – this was different. In biblical counseling, Sarah found more than coping mechanisms. She found a God who understood her grief, who wept with her, and who had also experienced the sting of death when He sent His Son to die on the cross. The hope she found here wasn’t in closing a chapter but in knowing that through her pain, she could cling to God, the One who promises that even in death, there is eternal life through Jesus.
Grief Anchored in Hope
Sarah still grieved, but now her grief was anchored in hope. While the world told her to move on, she learned that through Christ, she could move forward—living with the expectation that one day, all tears would be wiped away, and she would see her husband again in eternity. The journey wasn’t easy, but now she walked it with God, comforted and strengthened by His promises and ready to comfort others in their seasons of loss.
A Peace Beyond Understanding
As she left her counselor’s office for the last time, Sarah felt a peace that surpassed understanding. She didn’t have to figure it all out. God was with her, and that was enough.
