A Reflection on Bob Kellemen’s God’s Healing for Life’s Losses
I recently read Bob Kellemen’s book God’s Healing for Life’s Losses, a must-read for anyone navigating grief in God’s way. Kellemen contrasts two approaches to grief: the world’s and the biblical perspective.
The World Model
The world offers models like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages are widely known, they fail to address the deeper spiritual implications of suffering. As a result, they can sometimes lead to a disconnection from God. In contrast, Kellemen’s “Biblical Sufferology” presents a different approach. It offers a path that intertwines grieving with hope and provides eight scriptural stages that guide us from hurt to healing.
The Biblical Model
The biblical model offers a more relational approach. It helps individuals engage genuinely with their emotions while inviting God into the process. For instance, it encourages candor with God, expressing complaints, crying out for help, and receiving His comfort. As individuals move through stages like waiting in faith and groaning with hope, they discover that healing is possible. Moreover, this approach reassures believers that hope is attainable through God’s presence, His Word, and the support of a faith community.
Sarah’s Journey Through Grief with a Biblical Counselor
The Weight of Loss
Sarah sat silently, holding a blanket that reminded her of her late husband. Months had passed, but grief still overwhelmed her.
Seeking Relief in Psychology
Her friends recommended seeing a psychologist, which she did. They discussed the stages of grief, but something felt missing. No emotional exercises could fill the void.
A Turn Toward Biblical Counseling
Then, one Sunday, after hearing a sermon on God’s comfort in suffering, Sarah reached out to a biblical counselor. The following Tuesday, she sat down with him, still burdened by the weight of her husband’s death. She poured out her grief and expressed her anger at God for allowing such pain. In response, the counselor didn’t flinch or try to redirect her feelings. Instead, he opened the Bible and gently read Psalm 62:8: “Pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” For the first time, someone didn’t tell her to “move on” or “find closure.” Instead, he showed her that bringing her deepest pain before God was okay.
A New Perspective on Grief
In the weeks that followed, their sessions shifted focus. They moved from discussing the stages of grief to exploring deeper biblical truths. The counselor reminded Sarah of 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, explaining that God offers comfort in our suffering. More importantly, God calls us to comfort others with the same hope He gives us. This reframe helped Sarah understand that her pain wasn’t meaningless nor something to “get over.” Instead, it was a sacred space where God met her, offering healing beyond human understanding.
The Difference Between Coping and Hope
While the psychologist had given her tools to manage her emotions, biblical counseling offered something more profound. Sarah found a God who truly understood her grief, who wept with her, and who had experienced death Himself when He sent His Son to die on the cross. The hope Sarah discovered wasn’t about closing a chapter but knowing that through her pain, she could cling to the God who promises eternal life through Jesus.
Grief Anchored in Hope
Sarah still grieved, but her grief was now anchored in hope. The world said to move on, but she moved forward with Christ. She lived with the expectation of eternal life and reunion with her husband.
A Peace Beyond Understanding
As Sarah left her counselor’s office for the last time, she felt a peace that surpassed understanding. She no longer needed to figure it all out. God was with her, and that was enough.
Faith Makes Hope and Growth Possible
Kellemen guides us to stay committed to this healing journey. Faith is essential because it makes hope and growth possible. We must trust God, moving from emotional numbness to expressing hope, from despair to grace, and from isolation to love through worship and service. God provides everything we need through His Word, the Holy Spirit, and the support of our faith community.
Are You Ready for Counseling?
Are You Ready Counseling offers Biblical support from an experienced licensed counselor. Most insurance companies recognize it and offer affordable self-pay rates. Let God guide you through life’s most challenging moments. Contact Jane Perkins, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, to integrate Biblical Faith and Counseling for your mental health needs.
